Remembering...

A few days ago was my father’s birthday, and ever since, he’s been showing up in my thoughts more often than I’d like to admit. Grief has a way of sneaking up on you like that. I miss him — not just his presence, but the advice he gave so effortlessly. Even now, I’ll catch myself reaching for the phone, ready to call and ask how he’d fix a problem… only to remember I can’t.

It’s wild how, as kids, we think we’re the geniuses and our parents are just “old-fashioned” and out of touch. Yet somehow, those “old-fashioned” answers ended up being right more than we’d care to admit. In the last five or six years of his life, Dad struggled with feeling like he wasn’t much use anymore — and that’s a brutal weight for anyone to carry. So I’d call him about a construction question or an issue with the truck. Truth be told, I usually thought I already knew the answer — but I called anyway, just to make sure he felt needed, involved… part of the solution.

But here’s the part that kicks me: more often than not, I’d end up doing it his way. Because the man just knew things. Things you don’t learn from YouTube or manuals or trial and error. Even when I was 50 years old, I was still discovering just how deep his wisdom ran. He lived a life so much fuller, so much more experienced than I could ever imagine — and now that whole library of knowledge is gone. Gone from me. Gone from the world. And that emptiness… it stings.

I feel like the world is a little smaller because he’s no longer in it — mine definitely is.

So here’s what I’ve learned the hard way: Hold tight to the people around you. Talk with them. Ask them questions. Learn from their stories while you still can. Because one day, you’ll wish you’d listened more closely.

I know my father’s love remains right here in my heart… but it’s no longer in my arms. I’ve got countless memories I cherish, but I’d trade almost anything for just one more day with him right in front of me.

The best way I know to honor him now is simple: to live every day trying to be more like the man he was.